


Picky

by SonjaJade



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Sick Character, potty training
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 02:00:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10426683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonjaJade/pseuds/SonjaJade
Summary: They call it a B.R.A.T. diet for a reason…





	

**Author's Note:**

> FMA Fic Contest prompt: Brat

From the beginning, Edward was a soul bound to buck the norm.  It all began when he was being weaned and never quit.  He didn’t like milk- wasn’t as sweet as his mother’s milk or as warm likely.  He didn’t like bread for a long time either.  He’d take peanut butter sandwiches apart and make the biggest mess you ever saw.  He didn’t like salad because he wasn’t ‘a damn rabbit’, didn’t like fish because it stunk ‘like holy hell’ when it was gutted and cleaned, and didn’t like cheese at one point simply because it came ‘from that stupid milk stuff’.  
  
It was no wonder that the things he _would_ eat got his digestive tract out of whack and gave him the dreaded runs.  Trisha had called Pinako in a panic trying to find out how to stop her baby’s bowels in a hurry.  
  
Pinako had smiled at her nervous banter between she and Hohenheim in the background.  “It’s easy as pie to stop him up.  Just feed him a B.R.A.T. diet until things start get solid again.”  
  
 _“A brat diet?  Edward’s just a little headstrong is all, he’s not a brat,”_ Trisha replied, sounding hurt.  
  
Pinako laughed and said, “No Trisha, B.R.A.T., bananas, rice, applesauce and toast.  These things have a high carbohydrate value and will suck the extra moisture right out of him.  He’ll be right as rain soon enough.”  
  
The remedy was simple.  Getting the brat to eat the damn diet was not.  
  
Pinako brought some applesauce up to the Elric house and watched as the tow headed boy in the floor crossed his arms and scowled at his mother who was trying to get him to take a banana.  
  
“Nuh-uh,” he said, shaking his head.  “I not like yellow, mama,” he said defiantly.  
  
‘Honey, it’s good for you!  Look, it’s white on the inside!  And sweet and yummy!”  She took a bite to demonstrate and then offered it to him.  
  
“White like milk!  Nuh-uh!”  
  
Pinako winked at Hohenheim, who was standing in the doorway looking like a helpless rabbit.  “Then have some applesauce!  You like apples don’t ya?  Red, yummy apples?”  
  
He raced over and looked at the jar she held in her hand.  He looked up at her and frowned.  “Where are apples?  That’s yellow, too!”  
  
“This is the insides of the apples all ground down into sweet yummy mush, Ed.  I mashed ‘em up so it would be easier to eat!”  
  
He looked at her with hurt eyes.  “Wanna eat pieces!  Crunch-crunch!”  
  
She sighed and frowned back.  “Well, how about some rice?”  
  
He turned his nose up at that.  “Looks like bugs!”  
  
“Toast?  Crunchy, browned toast?” Trisha offered.  
  
“Don’t like bread!”  
  
He was about to pitch a royal fit when a funny look crossed his face and Trisha hollered for Hohenheim to get his potty chair.  
  
“Don’t you poop in your pants, Edward!”  
  
“Can’t hold it, mama!”  
  
Hohenheim boomed from the other room, “Hold it ‘til I get there, son!!”  
  
Ed’s eyes widened.  He stood straight and tall and scrunched his eyes shut, trying to hold his tiny cheeks together until his father could bring him his potty.  When his father arrived at last, Trisha yanked Ed’s britches quickly down, and he immediately sat and did as he’d been told.  
  
Pinako shook her head.  “Never seen such a picky eater.”  
  
Trisha grinned at her.  “Maybe he _is_ a brat.”  
  
The old woman sat the applesauce on the table and turned, hearing Alphonse wake up from his nap upstairs.  “Keep him hydrated, but don’t give him any juice.  Cut as much sugar as you can until he’s back to normal.  I’m gonna go see your sweet son.”  
  
Years later, she watched a very red faced Edward kiss her granddaughter in front of a magistrate, a brat of their own already on the way, and she wondered if Trisha had cursed him with the dreaded, ‘I hope you have a child just like you one day!’  
  
Because despite his pickiness, he’d turned out to be a pretty great man.  And another one just like him would be just fine by her.


End file.
